Understanding ADHD: A Guide for Parents
What Is ADHD?
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain manages focus, energy, and self-control. It is not caused by bad parenting, laziness, or lack of motivation. Children with ADHD often want to do well—but their brains process attention and impulses differently.
The 3 Types of ADHD
1. Predominantly Inattentive Type
• Difficulty paying attention or staying organized
• Often appears daydreamy, distracted, or forgetful
• May struggle to follow through on directions or finish tasks
• Commonly mistaken for laziness or disinterest
2. Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type
• Fidgets, talks excessively, has trouble sitting still
• Acts before thinking, blurts out answers
• Often “on the go,” like driven by a motor
• May have trouble waiting their turn or controlling impulses
3. Combined Type (Most Common)
• Shows both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms
• This means your child may have trouble with focus and self-control at the same time
Understanding the Combined Presentation
Children with ADHD, Combined Type have a mix of symptoms that can look different depending on the setting:
At Home:
• Struggles to remember routines (getting dressed, chores, homework)
• Easily distracted by noises, screens, or siblings
• Has difficulty sitting for meals or family activities
• May talk constantly or interrupt conversations
• Often loses things (toys, school papers, shoes)
• Emotional outbursts or frustration when asked to stop preferred activities
• Can hyperfocus on things they love (video games, Legos) but struggle with non-preferred tasks
At School:
• Has trouble staying seated or keeping hands to self
• Difficulty sustaining attention during lessons or independent work
• Frequently blurts out or calls out answers
• Work may be messy or incomplete
• Strong effort one day, off-task the next
• May need frequent reminders or redirection
• Often very bright and creative but frustrated by structure and rules
Impact on Self-Esteem and Behavior
Children with ADHD often hear a lot of corrections—“Stop moving,” “Pay attention,” “Why can’t you just…?”—and over time, this can affect how they see themselves. They may begin to believe they’re “bad,” “lazy,” or “always in trouble.” Frequent frustration or failure experiences can lower self-confidence. This can lead to acting out (externalizing) or shutting down (internalizing). Many boys with ADHD try to hide struggles with humor, defiance, or pretending not to care. Building self-esteem means helping your child see their effort, progress, and unique strengths—not just their challenges.
Strengths of Kids with ADHD
Children with ADHD are often:
• Energetic, enthusiastic, and imaginative
• Quick thinkers and problem solvers
• Deeply passionate about their interests
• Loyal, curious, and full of creativity
• Great at thinking outside the box
With understanding and support, these traits can become lifelong strengths.
How Parents Can Help
• Create structure – Use consistent routines, visual schedules, and clear expectations.
• Use positive reinforcement – Notice and praise effort, not just results.
• Break tasks into smaller steps – Large tasks can feel overwhelming.
• Provide movement breaks – Short bursts of activity help release energy.
• Collaborate with teachers – Request check-ins, seating near the teacher, or movement accommodations.
• Model calm regulation – When you stay calm, it helps your child co-regulate.
• Encourage growth mindset – Remind your child that progress takes time and effort.
Key Takeaway
Your child’s brain isn’t “broken”—it’s wired differently. With structure, patience, and collaboration between home and school, kids with ADHD can thrive academically, socially,and emotionally.
-Rashawna Schumacher, LMFT